The True Role of A Woman

A traveler passed a stone quarry and saw three men working. He asked each man what he was doing. Each man’s answer revealed a different attitude toward the same job. “I am cutting stone,” the first man answered with a tired and irritated tone. The second replied, “I am earning three gold pieces per day” with a sense of pride and expectation. The third man smiled and humbly said, “I am helping to build a house of God.”

What does this account have to do with the true role of a woman? As with any role we play in life, we chose to have either positive or negative attitudes towards our divine roles of wife and mother. Some look at these roles as being demeaning and full of drudgery, but our roles are actually a part of a solemn promise that we made before we came to earth. The role we play is irreplaceable, bringing priceless blessings that come to us as daughters of God.

What is the work that is uniquely ours to do sisters? I would like to suggest two aspects of womanhood I believe the Lord would have wives focus on to provide more sustaining power to the family today: #1 – Loving, encouraging, and supporting our husbands, and #2 - The beauty of motherhood.

#1 – Loving, Encouraging & Supporting Our Husbands

In order to obtain power to sustain our families, righteous wives must work together with righteous husbands. Elder Dahlin H. Oaks said: “Only by unity can we follow the way of the Lord, who said, “Be one; and if ye are not one ye are not mine.” (D&C 38:27.)” President Hinkley often spoke of his dear wife Margery as one who walked “side-by-side in perfect companionship” with him in his many duties. Pres Hinkley: “The men hold the priesthood, yes. But my wife is my companion. In this Church the man neither walks ahead of his wife nor behind his wife but at her side. They are co-equals in this life in a great enterprise.” What does it mean to be side by side in our marriages and how will this sustain our families?
In Genesis 2:18 we read that “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make a help meet for him.” If we as wives are to play the role of help meet we must know what it is. Notice the words ‘help’ + ‘meet’ are counterparts they are two words combined. It may also be helpful to understand that the word help is subordinate in the English language but in Hebrew it means ‘ezer’ which literally means “help from the LORD.”

In Genesis 2: 21-22 we read that God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam and he took one of his ribs to make a woman. From modern revelation we know that Eve wasn’t literally created from a rib, but that this is symbolic to demonstrate that Adam (representing all men) is incomplete without his missing piece, or help-meet, who is Eve (representing all women). As a righteous wife we must do all we can to sustain, honor, and walk with our husbands as they seek to preside over the family in love and righteousness. We should use the divine attributes we are given of love, compassion, kindness, and charity, to lift our husbands in every way possible.
“Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other…”
Modern day revelation affirms that each of us are beloved spirit sons or daughters of heavenly parents, and that each of us have a divine nature and destiny. Theorists refer to wives/mothers as the "relationship architects" who concern themselves with interrelationships, being sensitive to how others actions will affect people, making sure all the family members are happy, and often sacrificing for the benefit of others in the family. This could directly relate to the divine nature women have as nurturers.

It is little wonder why Emma Smith was commanded in the Doctrine & Covenants (Section 25:5,14):
5- And the office of thy calling shall be for a acomfort unto my servant, Joseph Smith, Jun., thy husband, in his afflictions, with consoling words, in the spirit of meekness.
14-Continue in the spirit of meekness, and beware of apride. Let thy soul delight in thy bhusband, and the cglory which shall come upon him.

The value of providing comfort and nurture to our husbands on a daily basis as Emma did for Joesph has eternal benefits and strengthens our marriages, our families, and sweetens the spirit in our homes.

As wives we can also encourage and motivate our husbands in proper ways as directed by the spirit to encourage them in their church callings.

Example: When President Spencer W. Kimball was called to be an Apostle, he was overwhelmed at receiving the call. He tells of how his wife comforted and encouraged him: “ ‘When the Church calls, we obey.’ But the predominant thought was my own limitations and incapacities and weaknesses and I was overcome. The tears came then, an inexhaustible flood. … I wept and wept. … I was in convulsions of sobbing. My wife was sitting by me on the floor, stroking my hair, trying to quiet me. …
“… My wife was my salvation. She comforted me and encouraged me and continued to say there was only one road to follow. …
“… I continued to tell Camilla that I was not sure what I would do, though I knew all the time there was only one course. She continued to encourage me and insisted that acceptance of the call was the only thing” (Edward L. Kimball and Andrew E. Kimball Jr., Spencer W. Kimball [Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1977], pp. 191–92).

#2 – The Beauty of Motherhood

In addressing the importance of motherhood I’d like to begin by asking each of you to ponder the first commandment of the Lord. What is the first commandment and what does it mean to you as a husband or a wife?

From Matthew 22:37&38 we read “Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment.” Yet, in the Family, A Proclaimation to the World we read, “The first commandment that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife. We declare that God’s commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force.” I believe (sustaining the family as a righteous) that motherhood is one of the most selfless forms of love and perhaps the greatest way for wives to sustain righteous families, as we magnify the commandment to love the Lord thy God and do so by bearing, nurturing, and teaching righteous spirits with all our hearts, and with all our souls, and with all our minds.

It is unfortunate that the role of a supportive wife and mother in the world today is often perceived to be of lesser value than an accomplished career woman. Because there aren’t many tangible rewards or acknowledgments for the work of a stay-at-home wife or mother, research shows that “the lack of public acknowledgment and the difficulty of child-rearing tasks in general devalue the decisions some women make to be “at home” and make the role of mother seem lesser than that of paid worker,” (Dillaway, 1998, p. 449).

President David O. McKay made the value of motherhood clear when he said that “Motherhood is near to divinity. It is the highest, holiest service to be assumed by [a woman]” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1942, pp. 12–13). He also cautioned, “Do not … make the mistake of being drawn off into secondary tasks which will cause the neglect of your eternal assignments such as giving birth to and rearing the spirit children of our Father in Heaven” (Ensign, Nov. 1979, pp. 102–3).

President Julie B. Beck who recently proclaimed: “I have a testimony…of a plan of happiness given to us by our Father in Heaven. That plan has a part for His daughters. We have the female half to take care of, and if we don’t do our part, no one else is going to do it for us. The half of our Father’s plan that creates life, that nurtures souls, that promotes growth, that influences everything else was geven to US. We can’t delegate it. We can’t pass it off to anyone. Its ours. We can refuse it, we can deny it, but it’s still our part, and we’re accountable for it….How do we meet this responsibility? We daily put our energies into the work that is uniquely ours to do.”

To be a true woman is to fulfill the purposes God has divinely appointed women to fulfill - purposes which come with blessings that always have been, are, and always will be.